September 20, 2012
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A Break
I took a paid day off for the first time this year. I didn't take out my Saturday run, so I could go to our church's men's weekend. The weather was beautiful and it has been a welcome break. I didn't realize how much I needed a little time away, even though I don't work many days most weeks. It's nice to set aside all the headaches that go along with my job and just relax. I got home Thursday morning and won't go back to work until early tomorrow morning. The weekend, in my opinion, was a resounding success. We went to a YMCA camp (Camp Tockwogh) on the Chesapeake Bay, not far from home. There were only a dozen of us and it was pretty unstructured, but we met formally four times, ate around a shared table and hung out the rest of the time playing basketball, beach volleyball or just enjoying the company. A lot of thought must have gone into the weekend, because, though it was pretty unstructured, we discussed weighty and difficult issues about our faith and our marriages; issues which are rarely discussed among men.
A barge coming down the Chesapeake, passes a sailboat.
There were 3 rules:
1. You can pass any given time you are given a turn to talk.
2. What is revealed here, doesn't go outside this group. Even to your wives. (This is, in my opinion, the rule that really gave us the freedom to talk frankly)
3. Don't offer advice. You're not here to fix the other guy.
One of the four sessions was spent outside, alone, in contemplation. For all my doubts, walking along a rocky shoreline with waves crashing in at my feet on one side and cliffs rising a few feet away on the other with eagles and herons flying in the steady, strong wind that was sweeping across the bay made me laugh at the idea that even one of those things could exist in all of its complexity and beauty without a Designer. It brought to mind the verse in Psalm 19 where David, King of Israel says, "The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands...they have no speech. They use no words. No sound is heard from them, yet their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world. "
Two were for us (though we all know each other to some degree) to get to know each other better, and the final one was a frank discussion of purity and some of the pitfalls we should watch out for as fathers and husbands. We got back to the church just before service ended Sunday, refreshed and sore from doing our best to one up each other athletically. It was nice to catch up and spend time with friends we sometimes only see once a week.
Tina has been hurting a lot. She has a Haglund's deformity on her heel which causes almost constant pain, so we just relaxed at home Sunday afternoon, and Monday we caught up on some grocery shopping, did some chores and relaxed as well. Gracie found a black widow spider and upon further inspection, we found that we had a small infestation in that little flower garden, so some time was spent turning over pavers and killing spiders. Today, everyone's off to school and Tina's back at work, so I made a list of a bunch of things that needed to be done in Easton, the larger town about 15 miles southeast of us, and I accomplished most of them before lunch. Since one of the things was to get the computers checked out, I had them both with me and was pleasantly surprised to realize that, not only was I near Panera when the morning's work was finished, I also had the means to spend my lunch catching up with some of you.
I find that after this time off, I'm actually not stressed out about going to work tomorrrow, even though it appears we are about to get really busy for the next few months. I think I may have to do this more often. Hope you are all well.
Five dollars was offered to the guy who could get Mr. orange shorts into the bay, so gray shorts suggested going out on the floating dock and seeing how high they could jump when the waves lifted the dock. When I snapped this picture the treachery had commenced, but orange shorts was still oblivious.
All in good fun.
Comments (10)
Sounds like a fun trip!
I have never been to a men only Christian gathering. My wife and I have been to Christian 'camps' as long as we had a room. lol
I know many guys have done this and like it. Nice to see that you could take a paid day off. I used to have that as well.
frank
Sounds like a very worthwhile weekend -- like a mental health day! I'm glad you found it so!
sounds like a good time.
black widows are bad news. good to get rid of them to be safe.
Those kinds of rules are excellent for men's groups.
I have been in many, but only the current one has really brought about significant change. It's for guys who are rattling around the bottom of the barrel, and the focus is pure and simply God's grace, the fact that everything is paid for, and there's nothing we can do that makes God love us more or less. Every guy in the group came in pissed off and bitter, and within a few weeks we see dramatic changes.
I've come to realize that most evangelical churches have put themselves under the Law, and once again we find it impossible to measure up.
That sounds great. I need to keep this in mind when planning a retreat myself.
Men are supposedly simple creatures and yet they need a space with rules in which to open their hearts to each other. On the other hand, we women who are allegedly complex, catty and competitive, self disclose to relative strangers with an assumed sense of impunity. Generalizations are always interesting to contemplate as are the infinite exceptions. Thanks posting this; it was interesting.
This post is like a lesson for us . Faith, friendship, family are three important pilars to structure a man.
Your break has been very useful .
In friendship
Michel
That sounds like a very relaxing trip. It seems like everyone can use a getaway like that from time to time.
Now that I am all "grown up" I haven't been to a Christian camp. I hope that we have not gotten too stiff to change. Change for the better is always something to strive for.